Pioneer Pun

The plane was crashing.

The massive hulk of metal was spiraling out of control, and I was in it.

Struggling to detach myself form my safety device, I looked around for the pilot. He was nowhere to be found. I finally managed to break free of my constraining device, and leaped from the massive plane. Plunging to the ground at breathtaking speed, I employed my parachute at the very last second.

I landed on the hard, red rock. I appeared to be on the top of a splendid cliff, looking down at a glorious canyon with colliding colors of the red-orange rock, and the brilliant greenery the covered the canyon like a soft carpet. “Where am I?” I asked.

It was then that I noticed that there were two hikers, tired and covered in sweat from their long hike, were staring at me in amazement. “It’s an angel!” a man exclaimed.

Huh? I was no angel! What were they thinking? Pushing off his strange comment, I turned to the man. “How far away is Twin Falls?” I asked.

He stared at me, unable to answer. “Twin Falls is a very long way off, Mr. Angel, sir,” his companion, a woman, said with a small bow.

“Okay, so where am I?” I demanded.

“You’re in Angels Landing, sir,” the man told me.

Utah? Oh! No wonder they thought I was an angel! “I need to get to Twin Falls,” I insisted. “How far can you two take me?”

“We can take you as far as Salt Lake City, sir,” the man said respectfully.

I nodded. “Lead the way!”

We wandered down the trail. I explained to the couple, Joe and Kate Buchannan, that I wasn’t an angel; I was just an air pilot who was taking a trip to visit his grandma. I looked at the scenery around me, feeling the dry, desert air sucking all of the moisture out of my skin. A Florida native, I wondered how on earth these weird Utahans could stand this dryness.

It turned out that Joe and Kate weren’t from Utah, either. They ran a bank in Colorado, and had come to Utah for the spring to spend a week at Zion National Park. I guess my sudden drop out of the sky, coupled with my white parachute, had taken them by surprise, and was why they had assumed that I was an angel.

At last, we came to their moss-green Jeep. Climbing in, we began to drive north. I saw several amazing sights, and marveled the diversity of Utah’s landscape. After about four hours, we entered Salt Lake City. It was snowing furiously; the tall, intimidating shapes of the mountains were nearly invisible in the snow. How could a state have such a flat, warm climate in one section, and have another area covered in tall mountains and white snow?

“Does it always snow like this?” I asked. It was the end of April, after all!

“Not really. The spring weather in Utah never seems to make up its mind about if there’s going to be snow or rain or sunshine,” Kate replied.

We spent a few nights in the Little America hotel in Salt Lake to rest. The snow quickly melted, and then we were off again. We were forced to stop in Fruit Heights, due to the Jeep finally giving out. I wandered around town, noticing the gorgeous fruit trees and a large field of stunning vegetable shoots. They were all covered with plastic and beach towels to prevent the frost from destroying them.

It was there that I noticed the crickets. A giant swarm of ugly crickets were devouring the vegetables! Several people were frantically trying to save the crops by stamping on the crickets, but there were just too many.

It came out of nowhere.

A bird dived down into the massive number of crickets. Landing gracefully on the ground with its webbed feet, the bird began to devour the crickets hungrily. It was a seagull! But I had never seen a seagull like this one. It had a white body with grey wings, and black primary feathers with white dots.

Another seagull, seeing the feast, swooped down to gorge itself. Pretty soon, the ground was covered with seagulls, all of them making their strange, high pitched cry. It sounded like they were laughing at the wonderful idea of such a great feast.

After a while, the seagulls had stuffed themselves, and gradually flew off. The small, sprouting crops had been saved, and I saw another rare sight.

The flower was small, with three petals of a gorgeous white. A strip of magenta ran down to the yellow center, starting from the center of the petal. It looked picture perfect, as if some divine being had made this flower with special care.

Kate and Joe came by, noticing the giant swarm of crickets. They spot the flower, and gasped in wonder.

“A sego lily,” a man said reverently from behind me. “The state flower that saved our pioneer ancestors from starvation caused by the crickets you just saw. If the seagulls and the sego lily hadn’t been there, the pioneers would have died. It’s rare to see one up here; they normally grown in native soil down in St. George.”

“Wow!” Kate exclaimed.

“Are you ready to go?” Joe asked me.

I shook my head. “You guys head back to Colorado. I’m getting a plane ticket.”

“Why? Aren’t you going to Idaho Falls?” Kate asked.

“No way! All of this crazy stuff that has happened here is too much for me. I’m going back to Florida. I think this dry air is going to my head.” I smiled wryly.  “If I stay here any longer, there might be a killer earthquake or a bomb goes off at Hill Air Force Base. I won’t take that chance!”

“What happened here was strange…” Joe said slowly. He looked at me. “Are you sure you aren’t an angel?”

I smiled. “I’m pretty sure.”

“You never even told us your name…” Kate protested.

“It’s Michael Adams,” I told her before leaving them. Maybe I could rent a car to the airport…


~ by w1s3r on April 21, 2010.

8 Responses to “Pioneer Pun”

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